


Okay... So Maybe I'm A Pussy

by Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Bar tender Ray, Biggest pussy, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Prompt Fic, Rays a wimp, Raywood, Ryan sounds like a dad tbh, quick fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8323183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache/pseuds/Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache
Summary: ♣	I’m scared to walk home in the dark and its really late so i called a random number and got you au





	1. Chapter 1

Ray lived in the rougher part of town. Now before you say anything Ray would like you to know that he isn’t a pussy, and that he is capable of handling himself. He would also like you to know that that is 100% a fucking lie, and that he’s the biggest pussy this side of Los Santos. 

Ray worked all hours in a shitty bar which was a 30 min walk from his cheap apartment. He had just finished work and it was about 3am, and he was shitting himself. Most nights Michael worked the graveyard shift with him, Michael would walk him home. Unlike Ray, who could be compared to a bullet from a sniper, unseen and anonymous. Michael was ten pounds of C4 thrown into a crowd of criminals. Michael was loud and fiery with red hair and the complete opposite of a silver tongue. He was known and willing to fight. Despite how different they were they had bonded quickly over their love of games and weed. 

Sadly, Michael had texted Ray earlier saying he was a little tied up and wouldn’t be coming in that day and that Ray would have to walk home by himself.  
Ray was screaming internally. Every few thoughts were…  
‘I fucking hate this city.’

When 3am rocked around and Ray left the building. It took all of 4 minutes before he was freaked out.

“Fuck this.” Ray spoke quietly to himself as he grabbed his phone from the pocket of his purple hoodie. He planed to call Michael so if he was shanked in an alleyway he would have at lest one witness to hear him die like a puss. 

Ray called Michael 3 times, each one rang out to his rather passive aggressive voice mail. 

“Goddamn it, Michael… please pick up.” Ray tried one more time before giving up. Ray looked around him before continuing his trip home. He could hear his convers slap against the concrete and his heart beat thump in his ears. Red and blue police lights could be seen from various locations across the city, however they were far enough to not be heard. 

Quiet whispers from a near by alleyway brought Ray from his thoughts, the muffled sound caused shivers to dance up Rays spine. He was on high alert. The murmurs grew closer as Ray pulled his phone out again and frantically called a random number. 

The call almost rang out and Ray was about to sigh until a gruff, gravely voice greeted him. 

“…Hello?” the voice questioned Ray. Ray hadn’t expected anyone to actually pick up and out of instinct he immediately went to the sarcastic lil shit persona.

“Is your refrigerator running?” Ray muttered quickly. The man on the line sighed.

“Do you really want to do that? This could have been a fun time for all but I feel like I have to stab you in the spleen now.” The man grumbled back at Ray with a slightly lilted voice. Ray was about to reply when a gun shot from the other line cut him off.

“What the fuck was that? Was that a gun?” Ray questioned breathily and waited patiently for the man the reply. The line crackled and a few more gun shots rang out, a loud bird like squawking followed by a loud and moderately enraged voice shouting ‘Goddamn it Gavin’.  
“Michael?” Ray muttered softly to himself.

“Its not important, anyway lovely talking to you but I’m going now.” The man spoke quickly and in an apathetic tone.

“Wait… wait please, don’t hang up dude.” Ray spoke quickly and willed as much hope into his voice as he could.  
“Dude please, its late and I’m walking home in the shittiest part of town, I’m like 140 pounds’ wet and really muggable, please just stay till I get home.”

Another heavy sigh was voiced throw the phone. There was a pregnant pause and Ray was expecting the next thing he was going to hear would be the beeping of a disconnected call. Instead the silence was broken by the gravely voice of the unknown man. 

“Ahh… I mean, okay.”

“Thanks man you’re a life saver, I’m Ray by the way but people call me Puerto Rican thunder.” Ray joked.

“Well, Ray, I’m Ryan but people call me Ryan.” The man who is now known as Ryan joked back half heartedly.

“Fuckin sweet joke Ryan.” Ray chortled back. “So, can I ask about the gun shots and the screaming man bird?”

“Well… Don’t worry about it. How did you get this number anyway? Only 4 other people know it.” Ryan steered the topic away from the noise in the background.

“I literally just pressed a bunch of random number and hoped for the best, could have been a murderer, could have been an old lady, got you.” Ray spoke softly with a joking tone. Ryan had been chuckling softly since Ray said ‘could have been a murderer’.

“I mean…How do you know I’m not a murderer? I could be?” 

“Dude the way you phrased that is creepy and all but honestly you sound like a dad.” Ray laughed lightly at the end. He didn’t really know whether or not Ryan was a killer I mean anyone could be, the chances were even higher since they live in a city run by crime lords and kingpins. 

“I suppose that’s true, why are you out this late at night anyway?” Ryan questioned with genuine curiosity.

“I work the graveyard shift at a shitty bar, not much to it really.” Ray replied then looked around him, he was very close to home. “Hay Ryan, I’m almost home now so ill let you go, uh thanks dude for putting up with me being a pussy.”

“Okay Ray, uh… Call again if you need to, you’re not bad company.” Ryan replied softly. His soft voice was followed by loud shouting.

‘Who the fuck is Ray, Ryan?’ a voice with a jersey accent spoke loudly.  
‘Ohhh, does Ryan have a boyfrie… Ahhh Ryan no… Michael protect me’ a British voice mocked then screamed. The sound of skin hitting skin then the sharp sound of something breaking crackled through Rays phone as he unlocked his apartment door.

“Home now Ryan… I’ll talk to you another time.” Ray paused. “Bye man.”

“Bye Ray, stay safe.” Ryan replied and before the call disconnected a very curious voice rang out.

‘WHO THE FUCK IS RA…beep beep’


	2. Okay... So Maybe I'm A Pussy prt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it guys.   
> Also shout out the the commenters for making me motivated.

Ray was dying. Well not literally but once again Ray found himself in a shitty part of town, late at night… Michael-less. Although this time it wasn’t because of a shitty bar tending job, this time Ray did it to himself. 

In all honestly, Ray hadn’t meant to stay at the arcade longer than an hour but Tetris was calling him. When he finally did realise the time it was 11pm and the arcade was about to shut. So there he was, outside… alone… at night. 

“Fuck me.” Ray muttered softly, he wished he could beat his own ass for not keeping an eye on the time. 

Unlike last time, Ray wasn’t a 30min walk to his apartment. He was on the other side of the city, in theory he should have gone to the arcade closer to home, but the manager there was a flaming dick bag and Ray didn’t want to deal with that. Ray thought about taking the bus back home, that train of thought quickly crashed once he remembered the time. The buses had stopped running at 10pm.

Ray strolled mindlessly as he called Michael. 

“Ray? What’s up buddy?” Michael huffed. 

“Well… any chance you could pick me up? Sorta lost track of time at the arcade... again.” Ray spoke with slight hesitation. It wasn’t the first time Ray had lost track of time and had to ask Michael to help him out, it probably wont be the last either because let’s face it. Ray is a lil shit. 

“Fuck, sorry dude, can’t right now… I gotta go Ray. Don’t get mugged you fuck!” Michael spoke with genuine sincerity which faded into a breathily laugh.

“Its okay dude, talk to you later.” The phone beeped as Ray looked down at his contact, eyes dancing over Ryan’s name.

“Oh no who ever will I call.” Ray mumbled to himself as he pressed ‘call’.

‘ring… ring… ring’

“Ray?” A soft voice sounded from the phone. 

“Hey Ryan… you can say no… but any chance you could pick me up? Its sorta late and I’m like a 4 hour walk from my apartment.” Ray was hesitant, he barely knew the man on the line. 

“Yea… give me a moment.” Ryan spoke. There was muffled movement then the sound of keys. “Where about are you?”

Ray was momentarily shocked by Ryan’s answer. He wasn’t actually expecting Ryan to say yes.

“Wow… thanks dude, uh I’m at the 3rd ave Arcade.” Ray said as he looked around him. “I have also just realised you have no idea what I look like… so uh just look for the short guy in a purple hoodie.”

“Okay I’m not too far away, I’ll see you soon then.” 

The phone beeped itself to silence. Ray sighed and looked down at his checkerboard vans, then up to the ever dark sky. Ray has always hated the dark because that’s where the spooks lie. 

Ray jolted as a black car with tinted windows rolled up, half of his brain screamed ‘he was gonna get fucking knifed’ and another half yelled back ‘Ryan’. Ray hopped it was the latter. Once the car stopped, Ray straightened his posture. The window closest to him rolled down to reveal the jersey bitch Ray calls friend. Both lads looked at each other in utter bewilderment. 

“Michael?” Ray asked as though his eyes were fucking with him again.

“Ray?... Ryan you’re fucking boyfriend is Ray!” Michael ragged. “You’re not allowed to do that, he’s innocent as fuck dude.”

Ray dubbed that his eyes weren’t fucking with him and that it was actually Michael sitting in the car in front of him. Ray walked slightly closer to the car. 

“Well I mean, in all honesty never knew it was ‘that Ray’.” A familiar voice sounded from further within the car.

“H-holy shit this is too fucking funny… also stay the fuck away from Ray.” Michael laugh dropped as he turned to Ryan. “Ray get in the car dude.” Ray was still shocked as he jumped into the car. 

“Michael, I’m my own dude, I can give BJ’s to whoever I want.” Ray joked though the awkward silence and flashed a shit eating grin. “Sup Ryan, nice to see you got a face yo.”

“Same to you?” Ryan spoke with a slight lilt in his voice as he scrunched his eyebrows and gave off a lop sided smile. “Where are we going by the way, kinda gotta know where to go before I got there.”

“Ahhhh… were going to Carson Boulevard.” Ray said after a quick pause. Ryan nodded in acknowledgement before starting the car. 

“Alright fucks, how do you even know each other?” Michael spoke as he turned around to glare mildly at Ray. Ray shrugged at Michael before replying.

“I don’t know dude, fucking fate probably.” Ray looked from Ryan to Michael. “Dudes pretty rad, fuckin, you told me to make new friends and here I am.”

Michael sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering to himself. “I did say that.”

No one spoke for a while as streets whizzed past the window. The awkward silence that fell upon them quickly became comfortable, the only thing heard was the shifting gears and the mingled breathing both lads and gent. The closer they got to Rays apartment the more the streets became familiar to Ray. Soon enough Rays street came into view. Once the car came to a stop out front of Rays apartment, Ryan turned to bid his goodbyes.

“Nice meeting you Ray.” Ryan spoke and smiled softly at Ray as he exited the car. 

“It was pretty sweet meeting you to Ryan. Also your face 10/10, so you know, if you ever want a BJ hit me up. I’ll talk to you later.” Ray joked and shut the door behind him before he could hear Michael mutter.

‘Like fuck you will.’

With Ray out of the car Michael turned to Ryan and practically growled at him.

“Don’t you fucking ever talk to him again if you value both your kidneys.” Michael threatened with hushed words. 

“I mean, can’t really stop him talking to me.” Ryan retorted back at Michael.

“You're not allowed to talk to him ever again do you hear me!?” Michael bellowed just as Ryan’s phone dinged to life. It was Ray. Lil shit sent a ‘winky face’. Along with a ‘Don’t listen to Michael if he’s yellin’ at you, he’s not my real dad, can’t do shit.’ Ryan chuckled at the text as Michael fumed in his seat.

\----

And that’s the story of how Ryan lost a kidney. He gained a Ray tho :D

**Author's Note:**

> i promise at some point i will update ' A Handsome Stranger Called Death' im just in a bit of a block rn


End file.
